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unclefather:

you want a man with a strong jawline so you have a sturdy place to sit

(via cumfort)

barebackinq:

Friend: Ill be there in 5 minutes are you ready?

Me:

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(via hotboyproblems)

lecterings:

'where is the pen i was using like 3 seconds ago' an autobiography i'll never write because i keep losing the pen i was using like 3 seconds ago.

(via cumfort)

overaaalls:

when i look at myself in the mirror i feel like one of those really detailed spongebob paintings

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(via borinq)

nicotinerampage:

telemiscommunication:

telemiscommunication:

Fairy World?

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Scary World

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You’re not that scary.

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Well, here’s a picture of your grandma’s feet! 

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It burns! 

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Fairy World?

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Hairy World.

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Dairy World?

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Hairy World.

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Oh, darn it!

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you know you’ve seen that show too many times when you read all that in their voices.

(via hi)

hardcorebrownie:

today i sneezed in class and two people said “bless you” i’m getting famous faster than u all think

(via hi)

big-burrito:

world’s okayest friend

(via hotboyproblems)

menthuthuyoupi:

"hey beyoncé can you take this pic of us thanks"

menthuthuyoupi:

"hey beyoncé can you take this pic of us thanks"

(via cumfort)

dilemmemily:

one time we got a new kid in fifth grade and he walks right in and sticks his hand under the stapler and staples his hand and just looks at the teacher and goes “I’m going to the nurse” and leaves

(via pizza)

hayiey:

this child is more beautiful than any adult i’ve ever seen

(via hi)

stability:

"are u left handed or right handed?"

im 

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(via pizza)

killbenedictcumberbatch:

willowmansdaughter:

Martin & Cracker

what kind of name is martin for a dog

killbenedictcumberbatch:

willowmansdaughter:

Martin & Cracker

what kind of name is martin for a dog

(via borinq)

mightyflower:

to quote hamlet act III scene iii line 92, “no”

(via hi)

javeliner:

think about the concept of a library. that’s one thing that humanity didn’t fuck up. we did a good thing when we made libraries

(via hi)